Follow me on Twitter (@successprof)
Ok, so now Danny must really be going crazy you think. Isn’t gravity what holds us to the earth? Isn’t that a good thing? Well yes, and no. Yes it is good that we have gravity to keep us from floating off into outer space, but don’t you ever have times that you wish you could just defy the law of gravity and fly. I mean really fly! Fly above the beautiful earth we live on; fly through the valleys and over the amazing mountains. You would marvel at the beauty of creation and you would be away from all the struggles of life!
The same applies to you as you pursue your goals. If you want to FLY you need to break the law of gravity. The law of gravity I’m talking about here is the gravity that comes from negative people and things that are trying to hold you where you are at. They are trying to keep your feet on the ground and keep you were you are now– they are your gravity! There are several types of gravity to avoid: the negative family member or friend; the gravity of negative self image; and the gravity of life’s distractions.
The first type of gravity often comes from a negative friend or family member. This person is likely very well meaning, in fact the likely want the best for you. The problem is they usually want their best for you – not what you might know as best. They are likely trained in the 40/40/40 mindset. That is the 40 hours a week, 40 weeks a year for 40 years – and boom you get to retire! They don’t mind the idea of spending 60000 hours of your life working for someone else! They don’t really mind having to leave the kids at home while you go to work!
Often the best way to handle this type of gravity is to prove them wrong – as Nike says, “Just Do It!” When they see you start to have the success you’ve dreamed about often this person will come around. If it is your spouse sometimes you will have to be a little more patient. It might be worth asking him or her for permission to give the your goal one-year, or at least six solid months of effort. There will be sacrifices in working towards your dream, and getting permission to make those sacrifices for a one-year period can often give you the time you will need to prove that the goal is worthwhile.
The next form of gravity that can prevent you from seeing success in life is a negative self-image. Not believing in yourself can actually be the biggest form of gravity you will face. I believe the first important step here is to realize that your negative beliefs in yourself are irrational and are going to hinder you from success. Choose NOT to believe those negative thoughts. Make a DECISION to move past it.
There are a few practical steps that can help you: First off, listen to positive motivation and self-improvement tapes and read similar books (see my top books choice here and my top podcasts choice here). These can really make a difference. Secondly, don’t compare yourself with the top performers. A golfer who is used to shooting in the 80’s does not compare himself with Tiger Woods – that would only be more discouraging. Instead he or she tries to beat their personal best. They can still make it all the way around the course (which is a success in itself), and they can still try to do better and better. If that same golfer shoots a 78, they have an even bigger success. A lot of times when I am coaching people towards a goal they get disappointed if they don’t immediately see success. You should look for continuous improvement towards your goal, not necessarily getting there day one.
A third form of gravity that can hold you down and keep you from really soaring are the distractions of life. Everyone has them. The number of things we have to keep us busy naturally expand to the amount of time we have. There is no such thing as spare time – in my experiences it doesn’t exist. So the key is as Stephen Covey says, put “First Things First”. First things naturally need to include your faith, your family and perhaps you job. Immediately following those things, I suggest that you give your primary goal a high priority. Finally the idea of ‘First Things First’, can also be applied WITHIN the goal you are focused on. Know what activities are critical in moving you forward, and then focus on those activities. Do not focus on things that will not provide you with results.
What is the gravity that is holding you down? What is keeping you from soaring to new heights and reaching your goals? Is it one of the examples listed here? Is it something else? Whatever it is, the key is to realize what is holding you down and break past it. Make a decision today that nothing will hold you down from reaching your goals and do whatever it takes to move past the Gravity, and soar!
The Success Professor – Danny Gamache